Here's how you do it: begin the sugar cookie recipe from the King Arthur Flour cookbook. Add in all the ingredients, as specified, combine, then realize that you are left with an impossible liquid-to-dry ratio that will not allow your batter to ever reach the state of "smoothness" no matter how much you beat it. Stare at the recipe, then at your bowl of wet flour, and try to figure out what could have possibly gone wrong. [You may feel this step can be omitted, but it is essential because without it you will not be able to summon the necessary amount of raw emotion for the following steps.] Become furious at said recipe, begin throwing in a lot of butter and milk, then desperately pat in the flour while rolling out the now irresponsibly moist dough. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.
I also made slightly-burned chocolate-chip oatmeal cookies, and raspberry jam shortbread cookies in the form of crooked stars. Since I'm doing all this to give to my neighbors to make up for not mowing my lawn every week, I'm not too concerned. I'm not the one who has to eat this stuff.
If I'm baking cookies, I must be avoiding writing. I'm doing the NaNoWriMo thing this month (because I was too busy trying to feed and bathe myself properly in November when I was in my "grad school" phase, which I'll be slipping back into later this month), because I am an idiot, or, if you prefer, a starry-eyed dreamer who believes in miracles. Or, if you prefer it in statistics: Day 12: 11,870 words written, only 6,467 words shy of my goal.